I can’t cook and refuse to learn.
But I know three recipes: porridge, spag bol, and anything with 2 types of booze in it.
Porridge is my favourite. It’s simple, quick and has two ingredients. Neither are booze, but you can’t have everything.
Ingredients (serves 1)
1/2 cup porridge oats (Flahavan’s are the best.)
1 cup semi-skimmed milk
Pour the oats into a saucepan. Add the milk. Heat gently whilst stirring.
After 5-10 mins the porridge will start to thicken and turn into gorgeous, soupy, porridgey loveliness.
Then all you have to do is wait for the children to turn up and complain that you haven’t made pancakes.