Breakfast of champions: the egg muffin

Egg muffin


1 breakfast muffin
1 egg
3-4 cocktail sausages


Small frying pan
Egg ring
Plastic slice
Bread knife

How to make

Split the egg muffin in half lengthways and pop in the toaster.

Meanwhile, stick a bit of heat under the frying pan. Put the egg ring in the frying pan ( you don’t need any butter or oil) and crack the egg into it. The egg will flow into a beautiful disc shape. Kick off your preferred coffee making routine. If you live in London, this will mean ordering a Starbucks via Uber Eats to be droned in through the kitchen window. Or stick the kettle on for a cup of instant.

Split the cocktail sausages and place, cut side down, next to the egg ring to heat through.
By now, the muffin should be toasting nicely. Hoik it out and butter it.
Arrange the cocktail sausages on the muffin and top with the egg once cooked through (2-3 minutes.)
Place the top half of the muffin and voila, a breakfast that will get you through an entire day of any number of children firing questions at you relentlessly.

Author: Rachel Wheeley

Comedian, podcaster, based in London, UK

3 thoughts on “Breakfast of champions: the egg muffin”

  1. Re the kids firing questions, you know you should just lie to them, right? It’s credulity training, absolutely vital in these days of fake news. Let the first massive fibbers they have to deal with be their mum & dad, then they’ll be better able to deal with the Boris Johnsons of the future. Daddy drinks beer for his asthma, darling. And I have to stare vacantly out of the window right now, otherwise my contact lenses will stick to my eyes forever.

    1. What I’ve started doing recently is limiting them to three questions each on the subject. Otherwise question number 265 gets a response of me defenestrating myself by the nearest window.

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