onerHim Indoors and I went on a lovely autumnal walk last week-end in Ashurst wood and found a couple of conkers.  We resisted the urge to drill holes in them for a whole three hours, but eventually it was that or watch Strictly Come Dancing (such is the incredible range of available activities in our house) so for the sake of the ongoing sanity of all concerned, conker wars it had to be.

And so it is that I proudly present my triumphant one-er!  And for the record, the remains of Him Indoors’ vanquished none-er.  He is still recovering, and if conkers is to follow the tradition of chess, risk and other competitive games, we will never play again.

Sadly I don’t know many seven year olds, so the chances of bumping my nut up to a seriously intimidating six-er status or beyond are slim, particularly as most schools have probably banned conker wars by now due to nut allergies.

Very excitingly though I notice that it is the World Conker Championships this week-end, up in Oundle.  If we just lived a little closer, I would definitely make the trip.  As it is though I suspect the one-er will remain on the mantelpiece for a few months to go wrinkly before being guiltily binned just before Christmas.

Author: Rachel Wheeley

Comedian, podcaster, full time Mum, based in London, UK

7 thoughts on “One-er!”

  1. You’ve made me want to play conkers now!

    I may have to collect some on my morning walk to work… Normally I just stride over them, but now…


  2. Apparently conkers left around in the corners of the house keep the spiders away. Or so my neighbour whose conkers I keep slipping over on tells me she heard on the radio.

  3. we have a drawer full of conkers and a coming up for 4 year old who is quite interested in having a ‘conker fight’ after being told all about them but how now slightly regretting it mother…

    i say that but i would quite like to have a conker fight with her, i’m just a bit worried about my competitive streak when it comes to conkers…

    haven’t noticed a decrease in the numbers of 8 legged creatures in our house but apparently ’tis true conkers deter spiders…

    in the interests of reminding you of fun things you did when you were a child:
    erin has been swinging on conker tree branches (and falling off too)
    collecting acorns
    making ‘mud soup’

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