I know, I shouldn’t have been looking at Wikipedia in the first place, but I have to point out the entry for Tooting under ‘Eating’:

“Tooting features many world class restaurants which cater for a variety of different tastes which in keeps with the multicultural nature of the area. Also features Chicken Cottage.”

Chicken Cottage?! Excuse me while I remove my constricted fist from my monitor. What about all the amazing curry houses? Rhada Krishna Bhavan? Lahore Karahi? Why not namecheck them? Or Kanya Thai, or David Wong’s, or Rick’s Cafe… or… or…

Perhaps it was meant as a light hearted joke. I apologise for my outburst. But Chicken Cottage! Why is it even capitalised for Christ’s sake, is it a minor deity? Graaahhh!

Ahem. If I could be bothered I would actually attempt to re-write the entry, but even I don’t have that much free time on my hands.

Author: Rachel Wheeley

Comedian, podcaster, full time Mum, based in London, UK